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WHO WOULD WIN A MASS BRAWL BETWEEN THE CAPTAINS OF WORLD CRICKET?

We know this is the biggest question on everyone's mind in modern cricket. Just imagine if all the captains of the major cricket nations were involved in a mass brawl somewhere like a pub car park. Then just imagine who would come out on top. Of course every cricket fan has been involved in this discussion at some time in their lives. Here we tell you what we think would happen ...

Ramnaresh Sarwan
A little bit weedy and geeky to survive too long in the tumult of a fight with the captaincy giants of world cricket. He probably has some guile and ringcraft, but this is often lost in the mad whirl that can be a brawl. He may be able to work his way out of some tight corners, but the sheer power of some of his opponents should count for him. Should still be good enough though to outlast most of the Asian contingent.

Stephen Fleming
Don't be fooled by that slightly camp appearance. Fleming does respond when riled by narky opponents, particularly South Africans. Should use his reach well against the sub-continental opponents and Sarwan, but might come a cropper when the red mist descends when cornered against Graeme Smith or Ricky Ponting. A good bet to get to the last four still standing, but no further.

Rahul Dravid
Likely to be an early casualty. Some spectators will be disappointed Ganguly will not be fighting the Indian corner, given his penchant for niggly behaviour and narking the opposition over nothing at all. With no history in terms of handling confrontation or violence on the pitch, Dravid will struggle and probably roll around on the floor squealing in defeat early doors.

Graeme Smith
Has all the credentials to be a fierce contender in the ring. However, arrogance may be his stumbling block in a pub car park environment. Fleming will likely target him early and could do some initial damage, even if not fatal. By the time Ponting turns his attention to the man he feels is his main rival, Smith may have been softened up, ready for a decent pummelling. Smith will still give his all even when out on his feet and look for the odd low blow which will seriously hit Ponting's chances of survival too.


Mahela Jayawardene
Another with a considerable height and weight disadvantage and unlikely to be able to stay out of trouble. Will probably get picked off by one of the bigger boys looking for an easy target to just get loosened up early on. Another prime candidate to be uttering "no mas" from a prone position on the floor.

Shaoib Malik
Replacing the great punchbag of world cricket, Inzimam, will be tough. His predecessor, with his limited mobility, would have most likely stood his ground in the centre of the car park and taken what was coming in a heroic, Ali-style 'Rope-a-Dope' fashion. Being new to the job, Malik will have some class but will certainly be an early target for Ponting and Smith who would lay him out in a joint effort with ease.

Ricky Ponting
He will stalk the fight arena early on, looking to bully. Will certainly look to dominate anyone who comes near him, which will be his eventual undoing. His willingness to scrap with everyone from the off will see him tired by the time it gets to a head to head with Smith and Vaughan. Look out for him complaining about substitute fighters standing in for the other captains. Will still be asking for a fight even when he is down and looking for Duncan Fletcher to administer some 'afters'.

Michael Vaughan
A major worry will be his catalogue of injuries - and will have to protect himself against assaults directly on his knees, which are likely in the confusion of a mass brawl. But Vaughan is a tough nut with a touch of class and will defend himself early on in the contest, and likely avoid trouble. He will be a triumph of brains over brawn which is always possible in a pub car park brawl - when the madness descends on opponents Vaughan will work the 'ropes' and pick off the exhausted Ponting at the last.

 

 

 

 

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